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From: Mr. Tiger      Posted On: 2004-06-10 23:27:59 Comments: 1 (Read/Post)
listen here you fuck balls. if i ever see any of you timewasting dildo's put any of your shit on my windshield, i'll chase you down and bash your brainless heads into your steering wheel. (or i will get your plate numbers, and find you later with 30 of my other "ricer" friends and have a little party with you. you are all a bunch of queer, do nothing, losers that have nothing better to do but be jealous of other peoples possetions that they work hard for. who cares about what other people do to THEIR things? you have nothing to do with it! you dont have to drive it! if they cut you off, then dont be a little pussy and start some little pussy club about it, catch up (if you can) and cut them off too! you pussy! anyone who had ever applied for, or used a "ricercop.com" ticket, has basically put a big hairy dick in their mouth, and sucked, and sucked for hours. DONT TOUCH MY SHIT, OR ANYONE ELSE'S FOR THAT MATTER! YOU ALL CAN EAT A HUGE DICK IN YOUR POS CARS, THEN YOU CAN LICK THE OIL THAT IT DRIPS OFF OF YOUR DRIVEWAY. I suggest you all carry a cell phone for the following reasons:

a) to call the police when im chasing you
b) to call the tow truck when your car is broken down
c) so your gay pimp can call you up and put you to work.

you all can eat a dick.

This is definitely one of the best emails I've gotten in a while. It's got all the elements of great ricecop emails taken to that next level. The repressed homosexuality (this email is DRENCHED in it), the lame threats, jealousy, and of course the sheer idiocy is present in full force. But let's get into it a bit, try to dissect it, pick Mr. Tiger's brain a bit (what little there is to pick anyway). It starts off with talking of "fuck balls", dildo's, and then 30 of his "ricer" friends.. Am I the only one seeing a connection here? If not then let's just drill the point home. A couple sentences and many spelling mistakes later we come up on phrases like "eat a huge dick", "sucking a big dick", "lick the oil that drips off", etc. Now, I'm not one to point fingers but this is all leading to some unsettling conclusions about what Mr. Tiger and his 30 "ricer" friends do in their spare time.
Moving on, Mr. Tiger presents a strong case for why we should all get cell phones. Let's hit them in order, the first one is "To call the police when Mr. Tiger is chasing you". I think it's safe to say that this one is limited to Mr. Tiger's local area. Let's be honest, Mr. Tiger can't prowl the streets everywhere, a couple counties maybe but even that is a stretch. So if anyone lives near Mr. Tiger and you find yourself being chased by some random person, that could be Mr. Tiger! Unless there are other people that live by Mr. Tiger that chase people, maybe it's a hobby in that area, I don't know. Point is, get a cell phone since Mr. Tiger would not only like to chase you but he'd enjoy being stopped by the cops on top of that. I wonder what Mr. Tiger's schedule looks like...

9:25AM: Wake up
9:30AM - 10:00AM: Eat
10:00AM - 10:20AM: Shower (optional for Mr. Tiger)
10:30AM - 5:00PM: "Hang out" with 30 ricer friends
5:00PM - 10:00PM: Chase random people around city
10:00PM - 10:15PM: Write stupid email to "ricercop.com"
10:15PM - 10:30PM: Think about how jealous everyone is of your car despite the fact that 90% of the population could buy it if they actually wanted to.
10:30PM: Go to bed and think happy Mr. Tiger thoughts.

OK, that was fun but let's get back to the Mr. Tiger's list. Choice B is actually a good reason, if your car breaks down or you get a flat or something it's always good to have a phone. Choice C pretty much pertains to Mr. Tiger personally, I don't think he should make assumptions about everyone else based on his life style. Well, that about covers it, I look forward to hearing from Mr. Bear and Mr. Lion in the future.
Posted by: Trooper

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#1 6-29-2004 @ 08:03:35 PM
Posted By: Skid Reply | Edit | Del
http://riceornot.ricecop.com/comments.php?auto=12531 , for more on Mr. Tiger.

Unfortunately, the image is now expired, but the story is still there.

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