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Wednesday 8.15.01

 Toy Rice

Submitted by: Trooper       Ticketed: Comments: 3 (Read/Post)
I was at the local Toys R Us when this diecast car caught my eye. Judging from the looks of things I'd say it's a lot faster then those Ferrari diecast cars.

Make/Model:   Posted by: Trooper



 Reader Adventures

Submitted by: Anonymous Comments: 0 (Read/Post)
Dear RiceCop.com,

I work in the Chicago, IL area. Another employee owns an Audi A4 that is commonly parked in the same lot as me. This classy individual is usually parked in a handicapped spot with no handicapped sticker. One day the Audi was parked in their spot sporting a dual 3 inch DTM exhaust tip and this horrible extruded aluminum rear wing. Some fellow workers and I did a little investigating of our own. The wing is drilled into the weakest point of the sheet metal trunk lid using button-top screws and loads of black RTV sealant where the wing mounts to the trunk. Did I mention that this person was classy?

I have been interested in sport compact cars for some time and yes, I did own a ricer CRX at one time. I have learned my lesson and now concentrate on performance improvements rather that aesthetics. Looking back, I would have given myself a ticket for the CRX. You could call me a "reformed ricer". Anyways we took my plain Civic and decided to run our own down force test. Maybe we could understand the purpose of the Audi wing if we got good results ourselves.

We used only the "best" materials. Lightweight, availability, and high strength were our most important concerns. We chose "high strength corrugate" and "black aircraft tape" for our wing construction. With proper engineering and precision manufacturing we fashioned the optimal down force generator. This marvel of rice engineering was attached to my car during lunchtime. From the photos you can see that proper attachment is necessary for MAXIMUM down force. The "black aircraft tape" was not adhering well to the cold/wet body panels, so the panels were cleaned off and we increased the tape contact area. The wing stayed in place, we had success at last. Of course we stopped to take some pre-test photos for documentation. We even got a photo next the inspirational Audi!!!

We were set to conduct our tests. As you can see it was snowing and we were interested to see the results. We hypothesized that the added down force would increase traction on the snowy surface. After two laps around the test track we report that there was indeed increased traction. Wow, the Audi driver was a true rice-innovator. How could we ever have doubted the Audi?

Unfortunately, the Audi driver saw one of the test photos and promptly confiscated it. I guess we were running an unauthorized test on this patented performance product, so we must remain anonymous. Oh well, I guess we will know better next time.


Make/Model:   Posted by: Trooper



 Reader Submissions

Submitted by: Karfreek       Ticketed: Comments: 0 (Read/Post)
What we have here is the automobile of what is far and away the biggest fan of the movie Evolution. Where do I get that crazy idea? I don't know, call it a hunch. One thing I'd like to know is the order that the various "mods" on this car took place. Did the yellow highlights (enough to go supersonic) come first and then the smiley face (since there was no way to make the car look any worse at that point)? Or was it the smiley face that came first and the rest of the car had to somehow match the stupidity of that move? Unfortunately we'll never know.

Make/Model:   Posted by: Trooper

Submitted by: Officers Rick and James       Ticketed: Comments: 0 (Read/Post)
If there's a lesson to be learned here it's "Do not piss off a guy with a paint gun". But on the bright side, I bet those yellow splotches add at least 10-20HP.

Make/Model:   Posted by: Trooper

Submitted by: Officers Rick and James       Ticketed: Comments: 2 (Read/Post)
The parking spot is oddly appropriate.

Make/Model:   Posted by: Trooper

Submitted by: Erik, Jon, Richie, & Mike       Ticketed: Comments: 0 (Read/Post)
Group of guys: Look at those amazing R badges on a mustang GT.

I just like how it took 4 guys to ticket this bad boy.

Make/Model:   Posted by: Trooper

Submitted by: Rob Nixon       Ticketed: Comments: 0 (Read/Post)
Rob Nixon: This car has no engine mods at all, the person that knows the owner told me. The owner is an ecstasy dealer. And yes, a GUY drives it. The seats are cheesy and made of pleather, not leather. This is the worst color of pink I have ever seen in my life.

"Hey Katie!! Look!! They came out with a full size Barbie ricemobile! Yay!!"

Make/Model:   Posted by: Trooper

Submitted by: Anonymous       Ticketed: Comments: 0 (Read/Post)
Tower, we're ready for take off, over.

Make/Model:   Posted by: Trooper

Submitted by: Anonymous       Ticketed: Comments: 2 (Read/Post)
Remember the Eclipse and Accord from the 7/26/01 update? Well someone sent in some closer shots and we can now make out what the decals say. My personal favorite is the "Race Me" decal on the Accord. It's like advertising for a chance to get humiliated. Sure you might win but if you have a "Race Me" decal on your car and you LOSE; How big of an idiot would you feel like?

Make/Model:   Posted by: Trooper

Submitted by: Anonymous       Ticketed: Comments: 0 (Read/Post)
Wait until mom finds out what you did to her car!

Make/Model:   Posted by: Trooper

Submitted by: Anonymous       Ticketed: Comments: 1 (Read/Post)
Batman's other car

Make/Model:   Posted by: Trooper

Submitted by: Anonymous       Ticketed: Comments: 2 (Read/Post)
Somebody REALLY loves Hello Kitty

Make/Model:   Posted by: Trooper

Submitted by: Anonymous       Ticketed: Comments: 0 (Read/Post)
A normal looking Saturn but wait.. what's that on the side.

Make/Model:   Posted by: Trooper



 Linkage

Comments: 0 (Read/Post)
Want to be "worshipped by all"? Get this sticker.
Velocity's Guide To Building The Ultimate Ricemobile.
Posted by: Trooper









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