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Submitted by: Anonymous Comments: 5 (Read/Post)
I have seen the belly of the great yellow beast! Yea, for I have walked through the valley of the shadow of distaste, and lived to tell the tale. I have stood resolutely in the presence of the beast, and man, is it UGLY!

For those that may be new to the topic of the Yellow Hummer, a little background is in order. There is a guy that drives around South Austin in a big Yellow H2 Hummer. This in itself is not particularly interesting, since there are numerouse H2s running around polluting our fair city. What makes this one unique is that, for some inexplicable reason, the asshat owner has attached no less that fourteen(!) miniature H2 Hummers to the outside of his vehicle, in addition to two mini surfboards on the hood, despite the fact that Austin is hundreds of miles from any worthwhile surfing location. The effect is both fascinating and revolting, much like a car wreck on the side of the freeway that you can't seem to tear your gaze from.

I haven't seen the driver myself, but he has been described to me by others as 'exceedingly white', and whenever he's behind the wheel of his yellow behemoth he is always sporting a yellow H2 cap and yellow H2 shirt. Apparently, he derives much of his personal identity from his choice of vehicle. It kind of makes me wonder who he was before the H2 was released, but I'll leave that question to the philosphers.

The Yellow Hummer and the driver, aka the Yellow Hummer Dork (or Dude, Dick, Dumbass, Dipshit, etc. depending on who's posting) has been the subject of much discussion on the Austin R&R board. Just recently, we found out that our discussion has attracted the attention of readers from other boards (most notably the East Coast - shout out to Boston!). We then declared a Holy Mission to seek out and capture the grisly image of the Yellow Hummer in high detail for all to see.

This brings us full circle back to the present. The pictures below were taken yesterday in the lair of the Yellow Hummer. If you think these pictures look silly, let me assure you that in real life the effect is much more ludicrous.

I now declare my Holy Mission over. Thank you, and good night.

-Mario


Source: http://austin.craigslist.org/rnr/44724562.html

Make/Model: Hummer H2   Posted by: Trooper

Comments

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#1 10-07-2004 @ 08:09:08 PM
Posted By: 427 Vette Reply | Edit | Del
I guess this means this H2 doesn't go off-road.

#2 10-07-2004 @ 08:45:17 PM
Posted By: IH8RICERS Reply | Edit | Del
they cant in the 1st place

#3 10-08-2004 @ 12:37:41 PM
Posted By: Low-Tech Redneck Reply | Edit | Del
#2, They can basicaly go anywhere a stock Suburban can, take it for what it's worth, but like most modern SUV's it'll never see anything but pavement, you can thank or blame the owner for that

#4 10-08-2004 @ 02:49:17 PM
Posted By: IH8RICERS Reply | Edit | Del
they break so easy

#5 10-11-2004 @ 03:50:39 PM
Posted By: Muntz05 Reply | Edit | Del
To this guy:

http://www.nuclearbox.com/crap/_funny/gay_trying.jpg

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